verstehen libre.
Monday, July 03, 2006
heh heh heh
We shall return to our usual programming, er, at some point, but for now here's a little bit of mildly terrifying absurdity from good ol' Uncle Ted Stevens. Here's just a little taste of what his excellence has to contribute to the net neutrality debate:
I just the other day got, an internet was sent by my staff at 10 o’clock in the morning on Friday and I just got it yesterday. Why?
Because it got tangled up with all these things going on the internet commercially.
So you want to talk about the consumer? Let’s talk about you and me. We use this internet to communicate and we aren’t using it for commercial purposes. [...]
They want to deliver vast amounts of information over the internet. And again, the internet is not something you just dump something on. It’s not a truck.
It’s a series of tubes.
And if you don’t understand those tubes can be filled and if they are filled, when you put your message in, it gets in line and its going to be delayed by anyone that puts into that tube enormous amounts of material, enormous amounts of material.
Now we have a separate Department of Defense internet now, did you know that?
Do you know why?
Because they have to have theirs delivered immediately. They can’t afford getting delayed by other people.
OMGROFL, and a little bit of cryin, too. Strangely enough, Uncle Ted's theory of how the internet works reminds me of nothing as much as Don "Yosemite Sam" Young's tortured election/Iditarod analogy:
We've got a great leader and we have a fine swing dog and you've got a hell of a wheel dog. The leader leads it, the swing dog moves the rest of the team to follow the leader in the right direction. And the wheel dog does all the work. That's the team we've got. And we get home on time when that team is in place. You put a strange swing dog behind that leader and the poor wheel dog is going to be overworked. I will be lifting a lot of extra weight and maybe not getting quite home on time if we have a swing dog that is going the opposite direction the leader is going.
Seriously, people. What in the name of all that is holy is wrong with the Alaskan congressional delegation? ¶ 11:52 AM
I just the other day got, an internet was sent by my staff at 10 o’clock in the morning on Friday and I just got it yesterday. Why?
Because it got tangled up with all these things going on the internet commercially.
So you want to talk about the consumer? Let’s talk about you and me. We use this internet to communicate and we aren’t using it for commercial purposes. [...]
They want to deliver vast amounts of information over the internet. And again, the internet is not something you just dump something on. It’s not a truck.
It’s a series of tubes.
And if you don’t understand those tubes can be filled and if they are filled, when you put your message in, it gets in line and its going to be delayed by anyone that puts into that tube enormous amounts of material, enormous amounts of material.
Now we have a separate Department of Defense internet now, did you know that?
Do you know why?
Because they have to have theirs delivered immediately. They can’t afford getting delayed by other people.
OMGROFL, and a little bit of cryin, too. Strangely enough, Uncle Ted's theory of how the internet works reminds me of nothing as much as Don "Yosemite Sam" Young's tortured election/Iditarod analogy:
We've got a great leader and we have a fine swing dog and you've got a hell of a wheel dog. The leader leads it, the swing dog moves the rest of the team to follow the leader in the right direction. And the wheel dog does all the work. That's the team we've got. And we get home on time when that team is in place. You put a strange swing dog behind that leader and the poor wheel dog is going to be overworked. I will be lifting a lot of extra weight and maybe not getting quite home on time if we have a swing dog that is going the opposite direction the leader is going.
Seriously, people. What in the name of all that is holy is wrong with the Alaskan congressional delegation? ¶ 11:52 AM
